A small introduction

About Us

We understand your pain. Your boss is unreasonable. Your peers are annoying. You deserved that promotion that Jerry got.

We know how unfair businesses can be in recognising merit objectively from results.

Why should others get ahead just because they are better than you? Let us intervene.

Formed by the combined suffering of four bitter consultants spurned by over 30 years of ‘Performance Improvement Plans’ we are uniquely placed in the Australian market to guide you to meeting your needs (for a price).

25 Million $

Wasted Productivity

150

Businesses ruined

4 Consultants

working for you

of experience

Let us introduce ourselves

About the Building

The Skidrow tower has been derelict for the last 20 years. Conveniently located in an abandoned mining town, Skidrow Tower – or ‘Skiddy’ as it is affectionately known by the local meth addicts – is our proud place of business.

We have literately hundreds free rooms to conduct our strategy sessions, training seminars and brick throwing contests.

How it all came to be…

Mostly desperation for money

Isn’t that why you work?

Yes

Yes!!!

If you just answered ‘Yes‘ it means you’re an exact fit for our ‘BoatAnchor’ package.

Corporate Values

Anchors away!

Lock in the clients

Client retention is one of our three core values. We introduced this value shortly after a mass exodus of clients. Our consultants are judged on their ability to lie through their teeth to keep the money coming in.

Sometimes our best ideas come when we are exhausted

Work long hours

Our consultants work 80 hours a week! Talk about dedication. Who needs to be smart when you can just work harder!

Don’t let them catch you!

Safety

Knowing where to find the exit is of utmost importance at HR Troll. Each employee has their own dedicated emergency exit plan – in case of a raid.