Our Firm
The Skidrow Tower
Our home away from home. Or often-times just ‘home’.
About
Find out more about our existing firm.
Team
Did you know that team is just rearranged ‘meat’?
Careers
Work for us, dummy!
Let us introduce ourselves
About the Building
The Skidrow tower has been derelict for the last 20 years. Conveniently located in an abandoned mining town, Skidrow Tower – or ‘Skiddy’ as it is affectionately known by the local meth addicts – is our proud place of business.
We have literately hundreds free rooms to conduct our strategy sessions, training seminars and brick throwing contests.
How it all came to be…
Mostly desperation for money
Isn’t that why you work?
If you just answered ‘Yes‘ it means you’re an exact fit for our ‘BoatAnchor’ package.
Corporate Values
Anchors away!
Lock in the clients
Client retention is one of our three core values. We introduced this value shortly after a mass exodus of clients. Our consultants are judged on their ability to lie through their teeth to keep the money coming in.
Sometimes our best ideas come when we are exhausted
Work long hours
Our consultants work 80 hours a week! Talk about dedication. Who needs to be smart when you can just work harder!
Don’t let them catch you!
Safety
Knowing where to find the exit is of utmost importance at HR Troll. Each employee has their own dedicated emergency exit plan – in case of a raid.